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CREATING AN ONLINE DATINGPROFILE:
WHAT TO INCLUDE
Creating a good dating profile is fundamentally about advertising.
You may not like the idea, but it's true. You're advertising
a
product you know well, however - yourself. It can pay to think
like an advertiser, to some extent,
your advertisement is going to go to a much wider audience than just your target
market, but you want to be sure that
it hits that target.
You want to create the best profile you can, one that will attract lots of attention.
And getting your profile just so is a delicate balancing act. It needs to be
very
well thought out, but not to appear
that way.
You can't just hurry through making a profile, answering only those questions
absolutely have to in the minimum required level of detail, not if you want it
to grab people.
You have to think about it. And whether your online dating service relies on
profile browsing or matching, you're going to need a good profile. So what makes
a good profile? There are a lot of ingredients that go into making
a profile work for you.
You might think that playing it all mysterious and enigmatic is a draw to those
you wish to attract, but in fact, you'll put off more people than you intrigue
by acting that way.
There's a fairly simple rule of thumb to creating a profile: the more you reveal,
the more you'll attract. That doesn't mean including nude photos of yourself
(except maybe on some of the more sexually oriented sites). It means that you
should try to show yourself off to your best advantage. The more you tell other
people about yourself in your profile, the better idea they'll have of whether
or not they like you.
And that's more than half the battle right there. For the same reason, you shouldn't
try too hard to fit whatever preconceptions you have about online dating, and
the sort of people who succeed at it. Imagine that you're not writing a profile
for a dating service at all, but instead trying to explain and introduce yourself
to someone you've just met but that you're already convinced you'll be good friends
with.
Keep it conversational in tone, not too breezy and not too serious, unless you're
naturally inclined to one of those styles. In short, make it sound like you.
You probably shouldn't include everything that's ever happened to you, think
of it
as meeting someone at a party. What would
you, ideally, like to communicate
quickly and efficiently to this person so that they can decide whether or not
to talk to you? That's the sort of thing you need to include.
So be sure to mention things like pets dietary preferences, whether or not you
have children, hobbies you devote a great deal of time to, your star-sign and
all sorts of things like that. Don't worry if you don't think you'll remember
all that - most online dating services will prompt you for this sort of thing
when you're making your profile.
When it comes to the level of detail to use, there's a trade off to be made here,
depending on whether your profile tends toward the specific or the general. As
a rule, a more general profile will generate more responses - but those responses
will include a much greater number that aren't what you're looking for. A more
specific profile will attract fewer respondents - but those it does attract will
be much more the kind of person you're hoping to find. Neither is better, but
it's something to consider when making your dating profile.
Another thing to consider is the style. Although you can fake nearly anything
else online if you choose, you can't fake articulate speech or a sense of humor.
Try to make sure that these two qualities are present in your profile, so long
as they're in character for you. Don't try too hard with either, because that
will show through. Just be yourself - but he the best self you can.
DATING PROFILE USERNAME
Different services call them handles, nicknames, nics or just usernames, but
they all mean the same thing. Your username is the identity you project to the
world - or at least, the portion of the world that uses the same online dating
service you do. As such, it needs to be relatively short, and preferably easy
to pronounce and remember.
It is not merely better, but actually pretty close to imperative that you do
not use your real name, or even a nickname you're widely known by, for this.
That goes double for a name you use elsewhere on the Internet - don't use your
IRC nick, or the username of your Live Journal. You want to retain your privacy
for as long as possible, and besides, everyone else is doing it: it's compulsory
at nearly all online dating sites. No one's going to object to you using it to
make a little privacy for yourself.
So what should it be? That's up to you. Some people say that your username doesn't
actually matter that much - that's not really the part of your profile people
will be paying much attention to.
Sure, an attention-grabbing name can help your chances, but most attention grabbing
names are kinda sexual in nature, which may not be the message you want to send.
A highly sexual username tends to make you look either sex-crazed or egotistical
- so don't call yourself verywellhungdude or sexygal unless you're damned sure
that's what you want people to think.
On the other hand, keep in mind that your username is one of the first things
people will see about you, and it's also the part of your profile that will be
seen most often.
One last point - if you're choosing a name that's popular already, you may find
yourself with a number appended to it. There's nothing wrong with that, although
it can make you look a little unoriginal. If you're not worried about that, go
right
Whatever you decide on, make sure that it's a name that you feel comfortable
being called and responding to, because that's what's going to happen with it.
Hopefully quite often.
DATING PROFILE HEADLINE
Next to your username, your headline is the most frequently read part of your
profile. So try to make it something that says something about you, while at
the same time standing out from the crowd. So don't write 'looking for love'
- half the people on your service have already written that or some variation
of it. Write something that clearly expresses either who you are or what you
want.
Who you are is never an easy question to answer, but this is only a headline.
Broad strokes will do just fine for it - in fact, they're exactly what's required.
But try to jazz it up a little - instead of writing 'my friends say I'm fun'
call yourself 'a good time looking for a place to happen'. A good metaphor, one
which displays either depth or wit, is an excellent choice
for your headline.
What you want is probably a little bit simpler - most of us have a pretty good
idea of what we're after in this life. But again, jazz it up. Don't just say
'looking for love' - say you're 'hunting for the perfect smile' or something
like that.
Especially if you're looking for romance, try to stay away from the clichés.
No matter how much you do enjoy getting caught in the rain, making love at midnight
or pina coladas, it's a safe bet someone has already used that line. Do something
new.
 Creating an Online
Dating Profile Part 2 coming soon
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