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Online Dating Tips & Advice | |
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Online Dating Profile: Questions - Answers - Photos |
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ANSWER EVERY QUESTION
As far as you can, answer every question in the online dating profile. It's okay to choose
an option that says something like 'I'll tell you later' or words to that effect,
but don't leave anything blank. If you feel you absolutely must leave a question
blank, try to explain why in one of the sections where you get to explain who
you are and what you're like.
People are going to be okay with it if they can see you have a reason, but just
leaving a question blank with no explanation looks secretive, even if that isn't
your intention.
The more open-ended questions are trickier to answer. These tend to be near the
end of the profile process, and to be questions such as: 'tell us a little about
yourself', 'what do you like to do with your partner' and 'what sort of person
are you looking for?'. Most of these questions will not provide options to choose
from, but instead leave a blank space for you to fill in.
They're not always easy questions to answer, especially not when you're put on
the spot about them. If you're feeling the pressure, it may be worth making a
note of what questions your dating service asks, and going away and thinking about
them for a day or two before you reply to them. You might find it helps to think
of it as being like an interview of sorts. Pretend that someone else is asking
you questions about your life, live on national TV or with their dictaphone and
notepad at hand. Watch a few shows or read a few magazines to get some idea of
the kinds of basic questions, and try answering them for yourself. Once you've
got a fair number of them - a half dozen is probably enough, though more is better
- you can try putting them together into a coherent paragraph or two.
More than anywhere else in your profile, these answers are the ones that test
your ability to communicate. But they're also the ones that give you the biggest
chance to show who you are and what you're made of. Don't let a fear of making
a bad impression blind you to the opportunity to make a good one.
ANSWER EVERY QUESTION CLEARLY
No matter how cool you think it is, it's better to stick to plain and simple
language in your profile. Keep the linguistic peculiarities to a minimum. Save
them for later on, when you're actually in conversation with the person, and
you can explain it to them if they don't get it at first. If you feel that you
absolutely must show off your literary stylings, go right ahead - but try to
keep the language straightforward. Leave the slang terms and the impressive big
words out of it. When someone who's browsing your profile feels like they need
a translator to make sense of it, they're going to put it in the too hard pile,
and probably never come back to it. It should go without saying, but make sure
your spelling (and grammar too, if you can manage it) is correct.
DESCRIBE
YOURSELF
This can be a tricky one on the face of it, but it's fairly simple: the way you
describe yourself should reflect what you're looking for. If you're looking for
sex, write a description that dwells on your physical characteristics and friendliness.
If you're looking for friends, emphasize the things you want to talk about or
do with them and the things that make you a fun person to be around. And if you're
looking for a committed relationship, concentrate on your personal qualities,
the things you feel you contribute to your friendships and relationships.
The one thing you should avoid is sounding too full of yourself. For most people,
boasting is a major turn-off. This is a bit of a Catch-22, because you do need
to sound confident in yourself. If you're not sure how it sounds, just settle
for being honest about your accomplishments and talents. Of course, your honesty
may sound like a boast to someone else - everyone has different ideas about what
constitutes bragging and what's justified pride in oneself. The easiest way to
check if you sound too boastful is to get a friend, or two, or three, to read
over what you've got. If that can't be done, try to imagine that you're reading
someone else's profile, not your own. How do you react to it then?
DATING PROFILE PHOTOS
Always, always, always include a picture of yourself. This is vital. Indeed,
some sites actually offer the option of searching only those profiles that have
photos, which should be all you need to know about how great a disadvantage no
photo can he. Even on the ones that don't, a profile without a picture will generate
far fewer responses.
There's any number of reasons for this, but the most urgent of them is simply
that if you don't include a picture, it will he assumed by most other users that
you're trying to hide something, most likely an unattractive face. It's true
that you can't judge a book by its cover, but that never stopped anyone from
trying. And if you don't even have a cover, so to speak, the judgment's far more
likely to go against you.
Ideally, the picture you choose should be reasonably flattering, but not obviously
posed. You don't have to look like a movie star or a supermodel. You just need
to look like you. If you're looking for love, then you're looking for someone
who's going to look past your surface anyway, right?
If you're looking for friends, your appearance becomes less important. Of course,
if you're just looking for sex, appearance is crucial.
Don't worry too much if you'll never be in some dumb magazine's list of the hundred
sexiest people. There are six billion other people on the planet in the same
boat as you - and there's nothing like love for making you look sexier, cooler
and more attractive. So don't sweat your looks. Just be you.
The picture should be recent, because they're going to be meeting you as you are
now - don't use an old school photo. And if you've changed your hair colour or
length, or got some new piercings or tattoos, the get a new photo taken, one
that shows off your new appearance and the work you've put into it. Put some
thought into what you want your image to project, but don't over-think it.
Dress and groom yourself as you would on a regular day, or for a regular date,
but don't go overboard. If your system allows for more than one picture, try
not to use a selection of shots all taken at the same time - go for variety and
spice it up a little. Ideally, you should be smiling or at least looking happy
in these photos.
It should be neither too dark, making you hard to see, or too light, making you
look more pale or more shallow than you actually are. Finally, when choosing
a photo, try to make sure it just has you in it.
Maybe your pet as well, but that's about it. That way, you'll be spared having
to say 'I'm the one on the left' to everyone who contacts you. If you must use
a photo that has someone in it, under no circumstances should it also have your
ex in it.
Dating Profile Part 3 |
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Select Online Dating Sites | |
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