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Online Dating Tips & Advice | |
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Online Dating Tips & Advice - Dating Profile - What You Want |
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WHAT KIND OF DATE DO YOU WANT
This is a pretty basic thing, but a surprising number of people miss it. Make
sure you state what you're after in your online dating profile. You don't have to come right out and say 'I
just want a friend' - say you're looking for 'good times' or 'nothing too serious'
instead. Alternately, if it's love you're after, say you're looking for 'that someone special' or looking for 'sharing and
caring'. You save other people time and you save yourself the aggravation of turning down person
after person who has the wrong idea about you.
A lot of dating sites will prompt you on this, but if you're using one of the ones
that doesn't, it might be worth specifying a few things like how far away you're
prepared to look, whether or not you want to date a smoker, a drinker or a drug-taker,
whether or not they can have children or pets, or whatever. Wherever possible,
try to phrase these things as positives rather than negatives, e.g. say 'looking
for a nonsmoker' rather than 'will not date smokers'. It's a subtle thing, but
discretion is always something to aim for.
VITAL
DATING PROFILE INFORMATION
If you suffer from some sort of physical or mental condition that's likely to affect
other's reactions to you, then say so in your profile. Yes, it is something of an
invasion of your privacy, and no, in a perfect world you wouldn't have to do
this. But in this world, you can save yourself a lot of disappointment by being
up front about things like this. Most of them won't matter that much to people
if you tell them straight out - but if you hide it from them, they may feel hurt
or upset when they do find out. This is probably most true of infectious diseases,
but anything from being a quadriplegic to being on prescription medication to being
a vegetarian might fall into this category. It's your decision whether or not to
include it - you may prefer to simply make sure you talk about it in the first
couple of conversations instead - but it is going to come up sooner
or later, and sooner is usually better than later.
DESPERATION
There are plenty of people who assume that anyone who uses an online dating agency
at all must be completely desperate. While this isn't true, that stereotype is
in almost everyone's mind as they browse profiles, and desperation can be even
more off-putting in online dating than in real life. So even if you're pining
away to nothing for the want of human company, or you haven't had sex since the
1980s, it's better not to mention that in your profile.
There are certain keywords that you should avoid - never describe yourself as
lonely, sad, or desperate - and neither should you advertise a poor or non-existent
previous relationship history. Later on, if you feel comfortable enough with
the person, you can reveal some of this stuff, but it shouldn't be the first thing
a new person knows about you. If you're unsure how desperate you sound, get a
friend (preferably of the sex and orientation you're interested in) to read over
your profile for you and give you their honest opinion.
CLICHES
Read over a few people's online dating profiles and one of the first things that will hit you
is how similar they all sound to each other. It's important to stand out - you
want to be in the crowd but not of the crowd, if you want to get noticed. People
sound alike in their profiles because they're all saying the same things the
same way. This is especially true of the questions that you'll always be asked,
such as 'tell us a little about yourself,' 'what do you like to do with your
partner' and 'what sort of person are you looking for.'
When faced with these questions, what you need to do is to come up with a quick answer, then refine
it. Play with the phrasing, dig out a thesaurus and try different ways to say
it, just generally try to jazz it up a little that it makes more of an impression.
 Creating a Profile Part 4
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