|
MONEY AND CAREER
Most internet dating services appear to feel that income is important, and require you to specify your income in your dating profile.
This is one time you should try to ignore them. Love isn't about dollars and
cents, or least, it shouldn't be. If they allow any sort of option that lets
you not specify your income, take it. No one's going to mind accept the people
to whom income is an portant criterion - so unless you're one of them, skip it. Remember that this is a relationship you're looking for, not a job. By the same
token, you don't need to include too many details about your current employment
and very little at all about your employment history unless it's in some way
relevant.
And by relevant, I mean 'likely to affect your dating'. If your work takes place
at odd hours or involves lots of travel, or anything else like that, it might
be a good idea to mention these constraints on your availability. On the flipside,
it can be a good idea to mention your career aspirations in your profile, because
it can be a very important guide to long-term compatibility. There is an exception
to this rule: if your job is an important part of how you define yourself. If
you're an actor or a musician or some other artist, then it's likely that your
career is also a vital part of your identity - and you'd be short-changing yourself
to leave it out! Regardless of what you do for a living, if you feel that it's
an important enough part of you, then by all means mention it.
Likewise, unless
it's a major criterion for you, it's best to only hint about your income level.
The best place to do that is when describing the things you enjoy. It's possible
to subtly signal your income level this way, without hitting people over the
head with it. Think of the difference between 'pizza and some videos' and 'a
five course cordon bleu meal and the opera'. Of course, if it is a criterion
for you, then you should definitely include it. No one's likely to be offended
if you're looking for a partner of the same or similar income levels.
THE HONESTY QUESTION
It's a great temptation, when creating your dating profile, to massage
the facts. Just a little. Surely, it will only help your
chances to make yourself out to be more attractive in whatever
way than you actually think you are. You have to think
like an advertiser, right?
Right. But you have to think like a smart advertiser with
an eye on the big picture. It's easy to create something
flashy enough to gain a lot of attention. In the short term,
it'll help you get more hits on your dating profile, and maybe more
first dates. But in the long term, as the word gets around
that the profile is misleading, you're going to lose more
than you ever gained. Just like a shonky advertiser, in fact.
There are two very good reasons not to do create a misleading
dating profile.
The first is pretty obvious - no matter how attractive your
dating profile, sooner or later you're going to be meeting up in
real life. At that point, unless you're a very good liar
(and no one is as good a liar as they think they are - look
at all the politicians, for example), you're going to be
exposed. And even if you are a good liar, how good is a relationship
based on lies anyway?
The other reason is a little more subtle, but probably even
more important. Simply put, if you feel that you need to
lie about yourself to be attractive to the other sex, you're
probably not confident enough to attract many people anyway.
If you're honest, even about your shortcomings, you're going
to feel more comfortable with yourself, and thus, more comfortable
talking to others as well.
This isn't to say that you have to tell people everything
about yourself. But be discreet, not dishonest. Think about
how you would react to someone who lied in their dating profile,
or in email. Maybe you wouldn't mind, but if so, you'd be
in the minority. For most people, the reaction will be very
negative. A small exaggeration might be forgiven, even considered
just a difference of interpretation, but anything more than
that puts you in liar territory. And you really don't want
to go there.
|
Creating
a Dating Profile 
